Years ago there was a mom who became legendary on the Down syndrome parent email lists. Her response to the intimidation at the IEP meetings was to engage some power dressing of her own. She arrived at meetings wearing a leather jacket, a T-shirt with a sarcastic slogan, skin-tight jeans, and thigh high leather boots.
The website is sadly now gone from the Internet. But thanks to the Way Back Machine, the page is saved for posterity. Here is her photo:
For years, those boots have been a metaphor for the attitude that we mothers have had to adopt. The attitude is no more natural to us than the biker-chick get-up with the boots. But to fight for our kids, we need the power attitude.
The lab technician is sticking your son once, twice, and again, looking for a vein? Put your boots on.
The doctor is patting you on the head and telling you to trust him? Go get your boots.
The school won’t even try to teach your child what you know he can learn? Time for the boots.
You are parenting in a world which has already decided that children with DS are disposable. You are your child’s case manager. If you don’t fight for your child, no one else will. That fight usually means that we need those metaphorical boots.
Filed under: Down Syndrome, attitudes
I never knew the history behind that term! That’s great
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I so needed this today!!!!!!!!!!!! I will so remember this at our next IEP meeting! Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, we need to understand that we are in an adversarial position with respect to our dealing with the school systems and often the medical profession as well. This is not about making nice nice with school professionals – which is what they want you to believe as they smile and refuse to provide needed services in the IEP. I think as women it is so easy to get caught in that trap because we want to believe the world is a good place. Also for parents with other children there may be fear of retaliation against those other kids.
Love this post and her boots. Your blog is absolutely fantastic and I am thankful to you for all you have done to help other parents like me.