I’d rather have no praise for Mary than false praise. I’m with Welcome to Illinois and Girl in a Party Hat. This story makes me uncomfortable. After being on the outside of the group for years, the boy is allowed one moment of belonging. He hits a shot at the buzzer! The fans are wild! He is just like a regular player!
Mary would know. She might be fooled at first (though I doubt it), and think that she had finally made it as a ball player. Then after all that praise, she would expect to play as a regular member on the team. When that didn’t happen, then she’d know that they really didn’t mean it. She’d be deeply hurt.
Ricki’s mom calls it a mascot program.
Perhaps the biggest qualm I have about “mascot” programs is that it allows the “normal” students to feel that they have given the student with Down syndrome what is “due” him. Sometimes I suspect that this blocks the attempt to stop and make a clear evaluation of what contribution the child or teen with Down syndrome REALLY CAN DO, without needing charity handouts. With a little bit of extra teaching, coaching, practice…. I suspect that there are many things our “special education” students can do on the regular terms of society. And I would like that evaluation to be done more often.
I agree. Rather than pretend the teen has skills that he doesn’t, honor and appreciate what he does well. Work with him to do better. Set a goal and help him to reach it. Then honor that. If his service to the team has been valuable, then make a big deal of what he contributes.
Mary doesn’t want false praise to make you feel better about accepting her. She wants to belong because she offers real value to the group.
Filed under: attitudes
